looks like i dont have to worry about it anymore.
the plan's fallen through.
it's not going to happen already.
i must say i'm quite disappointed.
but sure, everything else can happen.
i'm not going to bother about it.
you just go ahead.
after all i've put in.
dont bother about me.
just go ahead.

well, at least what happened can save me some money.
and i'll use this money for the other trip.

should i even bother about the other trip?
maybe i should try again.
put in the effort to fix it together.
and see whether it turns out well.
if it doesnt, i'll just look back and think of all the time i've wasted.
just like what's happening now.
let nature take its course.

should i even bother pulling things together?
sometimes it's not worth the effort.
coz the thing is like a glove that doesnt fit the hand.
or 2 like poles.

i must have been deluded by my own mind.
to think that it was such an important thing that can ever happen.
what was i thinking.
praying so hard for it to happen.
like she said, important but not essential.

i need to set my priorities right.

feeling a tad sick now.
my head feels heavy and dizzy.
and i'm having a headache.
not sure why, maybe coz i havent been sleeping well.
or maybe coz i'm hungry.
and i just ate durian ice cream and hot milo together.

i had a really sleepless night yesterday.
was thinking about it so much that i couldn't fall asleep.
tossed and turned from midnight till 1 plus.
and i had to wake up so bleeding early at 6.55 this morn.

i cant help but fret about it.
i really want it to happen.
i can't explain.
but i just know i'll be devastated if it happens the wrong way.
i'm praying superbly hard for it now.

hope i can sleep well tonight.

not sure what to blog about.
first time eh.
oh wait, maybe it's just me being lazy to blog.
heh.









i wanna go genting!
clare's mom pls say can, pls pls pls.
gaaa.
the anxiety is killing me.









tmw is my rest day.
YAYE.




am i being insensitive to your feelings,
or been oversensitive about the situation?
sometimes your words are just so hurtful.




for this lent.
i'm going to use the chance to repent and reflect.
it's not going to be easy,
but i'll try my best.
starting from today.
He will walk with me.

gosh, the dentist can be so demeaning sometimes.
just because you earn a thousand bucks a day doesnt mean you're above others alright.
what's with the "dont move your tongue, can you remember to do that" to the patient.
like we know where to put our tongue so that it doesnt block anything.
GRR.




on a happier note.
went driving today again.
and i'm getting the same instructor without paying for the fixed-instructor-charge =D
this time went round more of yck.
and cicilla!
i went to the road nearest your hse today.
HEE.
there was an accident on the right lane oO
nono, NOT my accident.
but i was so irritated with the vehicles in front that kept slowing down to see.
TSK.
and i drove past aj!
stopped at the junction just after the bus stop towards amk library.
and i saw mr duncan ang!
AHA.

next driving prac's on thursday morning at 8.15am
omt.
how am i going to wake up so early??
GAA.





and i'm going to paint my fingernails after i complete this post.
light blue nails =D
HEE.

WHEE.
first road lesson today, woohoo~
so much faster than going round the circuit.
but the roads i took were really ulu.
like those at the back of the sch.
and went round round round the neighbourhood.
3rd gear most of the time.
and my engine didnt stall =D
tmw's another road lesson, YAYE.

not sure whether my lesson progress is slow or what.
i've done my 5th lesson, and i'm now at subject 8.
oO




i wanna get those shoes from ps basement!
shall wait till saturday.
and if it's still there, then it's meant to be mine.
HOHO.
if it's not, then too bad.
i shall just have to go home and sob.
aha!




i wanna go overseas with friends!
RAWR.
more response, people!
good response, that is.
let's go in march, before the boys leave.




bought light blue nail polish on sunday.
heehee.
i'm going to have light blue nails soon.
funky much?

how come no one's online now??



and i didnt realise jigsaw puzzling's an expensive hobby.
aha.
a 1000 piece jigsaw costs abt 37 to 59 dollars.
and the frame itself is 49 bucks!
for some wooden thingy that goes round the little pieces oO
i DIY myself la, will be so much cheaper.
heh.




i'm so lazy tired to update.
heh.
maybe i should close down my blog.
ee, but i dont want to.




weekends have been busy.
making up for lost time.
played tennis on sat at royston's.
my first time playing, woohoo.
and his sis said i'm good, considering it's my first time.

watched outlander too.
the red light from the dragon is so cool.
nice show, but no eye candy, guy nor girl.

sunday dim sum lunch by royston.
hee.
YUM.

friday was clique dinner for josh's and ahmin's birthday.
double celebration saves $$.
hee.
i like the chee kueh tasting chicken.
and the white fishy fish.
couldn't eat in peace that night.
had the WORSE SEAT in history.
stuck smack in between kz and ahmin.
of coz, they couldn't go a day without suaning me.
GRR.
bite you on my right, bite you on my left!
--- ---
O O
~
\/ \/

UHM!





it's always happy then emo.

oh no, i killed someone.

had driving today, we did braking and 3rd gear.
braking smoothly is not as easy as it looks =(
GAAA.

so the instructor made me do some cone exercise and repeat over and over again.
it was still in the circuit.
so it went like that..
"change to 3rd gear"
ok, vroom vroom.
"accelerate to 35km/h"
omt, are you serious. okey dokey. vroom vroom.
"ok, stop at the cone, that's your aim"
looks at cone expanding gradually.
"now start to brake"
ookay. steps on brake. car jerks a teeny bit.
"step too hard already ah"
heh. cone only 2 metres away.
"stop at the cone, stop at the cone!"
ahhh, going to overshoot! clutch in, brake. car finally stops.
"you went pass the cone ah. you killed someone already"
GAA. looks through window, trying to look for cone.
the cone's 1 metre behind me!
GAA.
which means i prolly am over by about 2 metres.
hmmm.

next lesson, which is tmw, will be out on the roads!
oh my oh my oh my.
scaaaaaaaaaaaaared.

things i wanna do:
1) make snow angels
2) bungee jumping
3) cycling at east coast
4) 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle
5) qualified driving licence
6) visit the zoo
7) visit st john's island
8) cycling on pulau ubin
9) get denim shoulder bag for school

today was exhausting.
*big breath*
had to hunt and go places.
amk -> [missed out j8 gaa!] wisma -> taka -> heeren -> cathay -> plaza sing -> suntec -> raffles city -> home.
and guess what, the thing was at amk.
but i didn't waste my time at raffles city either.
it was the last P's outlet i was going to search in.
and heng ah!
the other thing was there, woohoo.
goodie =D
and the colour combi of the box is gorgeous.
just so apt for the receiver.

today was very much a summary of my life.
searching and chasing, and i didn't even know what i was looking for.
there wasn't a goal, nor physical object that i was aiming to get.
just my imagination to guide me.
it was me, free-wheeling, having no control whatsoever.

but i managed to achieve something.
at least i succeeded halfway.
now all that's left is to obtain it in my hands.
then fill in the blanks and spaces.
and it shall be complete =)





come back.






the life of a tear drop,
is so short.
it forms at the eye, coalescing into a tiny pool on the edge,
then there it overcrowds and gets squeezed over the verge.
slowly, it trickles down, making its own lonely path.
and falls a great distance to its death.
followed by others that may take the same deserted path.
landing in the same tragic spot.

sometimes i think till it's difficult to fall asleep at night.

i am so vexed that i feel like crying.





i didn't know you felt that way.
i guess we can't have our cake and eat it, can we?
that's asking too much, i guess.





anyway, planning a group trip.
genting, bintan or both?
i need some help here.
so drop your comments on my tagboard abt the trip location and who can go.
thanks.






i hate to admit that i need help sometimes.






the tighter you hold on to the string.
the faster it snaps into two.

got an email from aj.
regarding the yong loo lin school of medicine and it's revised admission details.
wow.
like can i get in??
260 places, hoho.
wishful thinking.


cant wait for prata day.
it's a love hate feeling.
sigh.
prata day is also known as result day.
which most likely falls on 6th march.
come out already!
dammit.
killing me slowly, with the built up of frazzled nerves and anxiety.


i am gradually becoming cash-strapped again.
he's not working.
i'm working part time.
my only source of income is my work, coz i'm not taking allowance anymore.
i must become more frugal.


and wow, driving sure costs alot!
i've booked 15 driving practicals so far.
and it already costs 1.1k.
i've got to do another 7 more practicals, more or less.
but mother's covering it, woohoo.
and driving is fun.
for now, at least, so far so good.
a little scared to unleash myself onto the roads of yio chu kang.
aha!
next driving practical's on friday =D
right before ahmin's and josh's b'day dinner.
dont worry, i'll turn up.
heh.
maybe i'll hijack the car, and drive myself and the instructor to the dinner place itself.
HEE.
how convenient.
and i'll kick the instructor out.
then we can all squeeze into the car, and i'll take you'all out for a spin.
WHEE.


it's midnight,
and i still haven't bathe.
feeling so dirty.
heh.

and presenting...
yy's future lao gong!
hope this time would be a better reaction =D



not as tan as the first one.
but he kneels on his knuckles!
meaning he'll be so faithful to yy, and only to yy.
=D

today was a fun day.
went to ahmin's for majong in the early afternoon.
didn't win like last time.
but didn't lose much either.
some funny parts too =D
like how yy let wz win one of the rounds.
aha!
kz told everyone dont throw 5 wan or 7 wan.
then she blur blur throw 5 wan.
now the whole world knows.
heh.

played bball after that when josh came.
it was so hot and sunny!
crazy people.
LOL.
could barely open my eyes.
and i'm proud to announce our hua ping team!
i'm hua, and yy's ping =D
plus kane, dont know what's he called.
our hua ping team keep losing, heh.
but finally won the last game.
YAYE.

then had dinner at causeway.
the chicken was so vinegar-ish.
aha.
but it made my stomach full and happy.

went j8 after that.
GAAA.
the thing was not there at P's!
shoots.
which means i have to hunt elsewhere.

today was a good day =D
happy v day everyone!
thanks for the roses, kz, kane!

went to the zoo with ahmin, kz, kane and josh today.
actually, ahmin and kz suaned me a lot today!
TSK.
but i forgot what it was about, heh.

woke up soooooo early, at 8.50am.
aha!
bussed down to amk interchange.
where AHMIN made me walk to where they were.
tsk.
so we queued at the 138 line.
where there were so many bo liao people going to the zoo like us.
had sgreans there too!
i love the zoo =D
so many animals, but most of them were sleeping, zzz.
but some super hyper ones, like the squirrels and that weird creature.
the weird creature is so cute!
it was the only thing we saw in the reptile exhibit.
and it's not even a reptile 0O
reminded me of that big eyed creature from madagascar.
so, this weird creature likes flowers, i discovered.
was talking to it and i realised the other 4 were inching away from me.
then i pushed my rose towards it, and it wanted to pounce!
ahhhhhh.
so i ran away, towards the rest.
aha.

and the squirrels!
the way they eat, so cute la.
and there was this one squirrel that kept stoning.
until another squirrel came to whack that one's head with its tail.
but it went back to stoning again, at another location -.-"

i think i liked that weird creature best.
in the whole zoo =D

so we later went back to amk for breakfast/lunch/tea break.
and then went to the pool place.
sad, didn't get to play pool, coz i wore the wrong top =(
nevermind, next time i shall join in the game!
the others were so sot.
all the nonsense ideas they came up with, aha!
what bite the front of my shirt,
ask ahmin hold up the front of my shirt,
i hold the front of my shirt then someone put their hand there for me to position my cue stick.
LOL.
next time, next time!
=D

then had family dinner.
to celebrate v day, whee.
had yummy, sumptuous dinner at fish & co.
slurps.
love their seafood platter.
hee.


and up next...
yuanyin's potential lao gong no. 2!
tada >>

oops [next post]

and one more thing, something really strange.
it's either just me, or the a/c in j8 are not working.
felt so warm the entire night.
at dinner, and even in the cinema!
oO

i'm getting agitated with myself.
nothing's going the way as planned.
what's with all the glitches and mistakes huh steph?


today morning was good.
went driving, and we went round and round the circuit a gazillion times.
lost count, naturally.
did lotsa turnings and bends.
was fun, but i realised, you really never know what's coming for you round the next bend.
takes you by surprise; driving imitates life.
and sometimes, i turned too early, or turned too late.
and whoops, cut into another lane or almost mounted kerb.
but i didn't mount kerb! =D

act fast, or life goes off track.
pay attention, girl.

then afternoon, slept most of it.
HEH.
driving makes me sleepy.
and gave me arm cramps.

then came evening.
went for an initially-intended-to-be-clique-MU-but-became-semi-class-outing.
coz of a mistake, damn these mistakes taking place these days.
it was a movie outing, ben button.
brad pitt is so cute!
full marks on the drool-o-meter =D
the YOUNG brad pitt of coz!


i said, dont push your luck.
you dont want to regret doing that.

kz asked me what i usually spend my time doing.
and so i thought.
or at least, tried to think what exactly have i been doing.
and i couldn't recall.
which is really strange. and saddening.
that i wasn't living my holiday to its fullest.
i know i've been doing driving, watching movies online, planning outings, work.
doesn't sound like those take up alot of time.
but for the past week, what happened to the rest of my free time?
it's like it vanished.
maybe i should start recording here, the things that i do during the week.
helps me keep track.
keeps my life from spinning into a blur.


so, today, i woke up and watched my recorded korean show.
then i watched movies online from 12 to 4, while camping at the ssdc website.
oh, those buggers, holding onto their slots so tightly!
but i managed to get 10.30 this friday.
in a few hours actually.
which reminds me, i should be sleeping right now.
else i'll doze off and my head hits the horn.
and after that, i went to work.
today was a slack day =D
coz there was only one patient.
who did crowning, and stayed there for 2 hours.
and came across some patients who were so unreasonable.
how to slot you in to see the dentist when he is fully booked alr???
some people are just.. ARGH.


that's my day.
a little boring for you, maybe.
but it's just a reference for me.
to know that i actually had a 12th of february in my life.
aha =D

yaye, yaye, yaye, i love my new _____ =D


sometimes it may be an easier way out, to go with the flow.
but, most of the time,
that is just the stupidest route to take.
shows your lack of backbone and opinions.
some may call it rebelling or trying to gain attention.
i call it standing up for your own thoughts and making them truly happen.
why should i conform?
why should i follow like a meek sheep?
i choose what's right for myself, i speak out to others when it's the time to do that.
take action, and things will happen for you.
but you only get what you deserve.
that includes opportunities and the way others treat you.


i'm not sure which uni i want to go to.
oh wait, first of all, let's assume i can get into a uni course that i want to study.

i had a dream in pri 5, something i never told anyone about i think.
i was standing in sch that day.
it was right beside njc.
and so i told myself, i'm going to study in njc next time.
but it never happened.
and another thing i told myself.
after studying in njc, i want to go nus.
i know, thinking so much, for just a pri 5 kid.
but still, kids dream big.
so now, i still want to go to nus.
but something keeps making me change my mind.
so it's either nus or ntu now.

one reason why ntu's another choice.
coz it's climbing ranks in the records.
i'm torn.
should i follow numbers or my dream?

and i want to study biz-accountancy.
he doesn't know that.
i want to be that kind of graduate and work at my mother's workplace.
he wants me to be a teacher.
coz it's stable.
but working in mas would be stable too right?
afterall, both jobs are under the civil servant category.
i dont know.
everything has to depend on my grades anyway.

Next up!
leisure and entertainment.. =D

Beads ETC 10% off storewide (for purchases above $20.00) Terms & Conditions Promotion till 31 May 2009 Outlets No.1 Scotts Road #04-02 Shaw Centre Singapore 228208 Tel: 6737 4332 / 6734 6136

Cathay Cineplexes i) Enjoy a Cathay Cineplexes movie for just $6 (Monday - Thursday) (excluding Public Holiday and eve of Public Holiday) ii) Get a FREE movie pass when you spend a minimum of $30 in a single receipt on movie tickets or F&B at Cathay Cineplexes Terms & Conditions Not valid for films under 'no free list' Limited to a maximum of 10 tickets per customer per transaction Both offers cannot be used within the same transaction and have to be independent of each other Free movie pass is valid from Monday to Friday excluding Public Holiday and eve of Public Holiday This promotion cannot be combined with any other privileges extended to NETS members at Cathay Cineplexes This promotion is not valid with other discounts and promotions at Cathay Cineplexes $6 rates and Comp passes are not valid for 3D movies, Tamil and Film Festival titles Promotion valid till 31 Dec 2010 Free movie pass expires on Mon, 31 January 2011 In order for the published rates to be valid, the amount payable has to be made via a NETS card Outlets 8 Grange Road Level 4, 5 & 6 Cathay Cineleisure Orchard Singapore 239695 2 Handy Road #01-16 The Cathay Singapore 229233 1 Woodlands Square #07-01/02 Singapore 738099 More Outlets

Skate Sports i) 50% off skates rental ii) $20 off purchase of skates iii) 1-for-1 skating classes Visit our website: www.skatesports.com.sg Terms & Conditions Promotion till 01 May 2009 Outlets 1000 East Coast Parkway #01-03, Area C3, East Coast Park Singapore 389729 Tel: 6442 9506 5 Stadium Walk #02-25 Kallang Leisure Park Singapore 397693 Tel: 6345 5344

i'm this close to becoming fuming mad.
GAA.
but it's nothing serious, really.
i think i shall tell myself to let it pass this time, and for SPECIAL OCCASIONS like cny, v day, national day, christmas, period.
dont cross the line.


on a happier note.
i've decided to post about promotions for NETS.
just a reminder for myself and to let others know and benefit as well =D
it's mostly about food for the time being, heh.
coz of impending occasions!
that's the only reason.

Geláre 20% off Ice Cream Sundaes Terms& Conditions Not valid with any other vouchers, promotions, privileges & discounts Valid for Dine-In only Promotion till 28 Feb 2009 Outlets 3 Temasek Blvd #02-084/086/088 Suntec City Mall Singapore 038983 Tel: 6336 5615 1000 East Coast Parkway Unit 19 Marine Cove Singapore 449876 Tel: 6441 11283 14 Scotts Road #01-23 Far East Plaza Singapore 228213 Tel: 6235 3192

Subway 10% off any foot-long sandwiches, salads, and wraps Terms& Conditions Not applicable with any other offers or meal deals Valid only at Ogilvy, Science Park, Central and Chinatown Point Outlets Promotion till 31 Mar 2009 Outlets 35 Robinson Road #01-01 Ogilvy Centre Singapore 068876 Tel: 6323 2275 87 Science Park Drive The Science Hub Concourse, Science Park 1 Singapore 118260 Tel: 6775 9448 6 Eu Tong Sen Street #01-66 The Central Singapore 059817 Tel: 6238 5618

Angie The Choice 10% off all 20cm cakes and above Terms& Conditions All offers are not valid with other on-going promotions and discounts Promotion valid till 31 Dec 2009 Outlets 1 Jelebu Road #01-18 Bukit Panjang Plaza Singapore 677743 Tel: 6766 8998 176 Orchard Road #B2-121 Centrepoint Shopping Centre Singapore 238843 Tel: 6838 5320 2 Tampines Central 5 #B1-20 Century Square Singapore 529509 Tel: 6787 9898

The Famous Amos Buy 400gm cookies in a bag, get 100gm free Terms& Conditions Not valid for any other discount, offer vouchers and/or promotions Promotion till 31 May 2009 Outlets 435 Orchard Road #B1-43 Wisma Atria Singapore 238877 Tel: 6738 9228 200 Victoria Street #B1-K2 Bugis Junction Singapore 188021 Tel: 6238 8649 21 Choa Chua Kang Ave 4 #B1-K6 Lot One Shopping Mall Singapore 689812 Tel: 6891 3376

Yeo Keng Nam Chicken Rice 20% off a la carte menu Terms& Conditions Closed on Mondays Not valid for any other discount, offer vouchers and/or promotions Promotion till 15 Feb 2009 Outlets 8 Braddell Road Singapore 359898 Tel: 6285 4153